we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize