I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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