Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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