No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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