The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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