remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
only you would photoshop your dick
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
