can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
