so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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