you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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