I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
