Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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