I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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