Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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