that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
