this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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