I heard we made out
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
