Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
do herpes really smell.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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