I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
