At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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