Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Soap is not a condiment
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
