I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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