My room smells like vodka and shame
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
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