I wanna bring you to show and tell
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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