Betty ford says i'm here all night
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize