you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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