how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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