I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
