Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
