...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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