the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
