i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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