best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
