I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
