no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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