now i know why i became what i already was.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
