I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
