My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I just found puke in my bra..
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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