You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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