"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
