Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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