you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize
