I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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