Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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