My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
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