I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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