I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
