I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
