Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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