I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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