Tell her she can't have a vagina
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
