We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
