just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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