I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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