im so drunk with asians
where?
always
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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