yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
