yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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