i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
My vagina just recognized that song.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
