You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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