What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
