best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
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I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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