one word: firstdatebathroomanal
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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