I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
he wants to bone in the snuggie
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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